Dear Dominos – RE: Chicken Taco Pizza

This is by no means an angry customer response or demand for a refund. I just want to give some honest feedback on your new Chicken Taco Pizza.

First – I’m a sucker for trying new things when I can.

Tonight wasn’t one of those nights as I really didn’t have $20 to spend on… fuck, breathing. But – now this is only kinda bad – but there’s an upside. My life is like, fucked at the moment. But….eh eh…with me now..

I have job applications going in to places. Found a new job prospect from a friend today – so I gotta get my resume game on, figure out how that works after being an online freelancer for 16 years. Tomorrow I’m going to a job fair with guaranteed interview.


Not giving up – only counting my chickens before they hatch – as* I did* order that Chicken Taco pizza and a root beer.

Second – I want to say, you always have great delivery drivers. At least from my experience.

The young man that delivered my pizza was very sweet, courteous, and his eyes sparkled as he smiled – yes he was wearing a mask. He was also kind to the fact that I didn’t have a tip (I swear I planned one. I always tip – check the receipts ).

I start thinkin’, ‘we’re in a legal state‘. I grab a snack bag from the pantry and put together a ten sack.

I offered this man in uniform bud for a tip. He laughed and turned it down and I instantly apologized to him.

I smoked in anticipation of said pizza and so, in this moment, I had a mini-pot-and-pizza – anxiety attack. Fuck.

That poor dude was in my driveway, probably texting some other dude about the weirdo offering dem trees.

I do apologize for that awkwardness.

Damn. I see now why my local store doesn’t have delivery available for online ordering in my area.

Third – So this pizza.

You, Dominos, lists the toppings as follows: American cheese, taco seasoning, grilled chicken, fresh onions, fresh green peppers, diced tomatoes, topped with provolone and cheddar cheeses.

I got Brookyln crust because that’s mah fav. I didn’t change anything as far as toppings go.

Now, I don’t scoff at American cheese on things. I’m a heathen – when I was a kid I use to eat American cheese on top of steak. And yeah, it’s gross to many – but at least the steak’s not well-done.

r/shittyfoodporn is a never-ending list of possibilities. If that puts my munchies into perspective.

Anyway! – Even if you get this without the American Cheese – it seems as though the only thing you’ll be missing is this thick, stick-to-the-roof of your mouth experience.

You might get flavors like the taco seasoning more, but I honestly don’t think it would be there. It just seems weak season-wise.

Overall, I thought it was a pretty bland pizza. Maybe back off a little on the American cheese and up the taco seasoning a bit.


Or – better yet – put a spiral drizzle of a mild taco sauce on top. That would make it pop. Sold!

Dip that baby in sour cream and you’ve got Cinco de Mayo re-release written all over this.

This wasn’t the best $19.70 I’ve ever spent with you, but it will be the last for a while. No animosity in that. I came for the comforting experience and got just what I needed.

Thank you!

TL;DR – Chicken taco pizza needs some tweaks to be tasty.

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