I’ve been consuming cannabis for over twenty years now and during these times I have had my share of experiences with fellow stoners, my own weed crops, the cops, drug dealers, street thugs and every other character you may meet when consuming marijuana.
Since every day there’s someone trying cannabis for the first time – some of them still too young in my opinion – I have decided to compile some of my most precious lessons to serve as a guide for newcomer stoners.
I encourage other seasoned stoners to chip in and create a newbie guide of our best lessons yet. If you feel compelled, why not write in the comment section your #1 lesson. We don’t need essays, bullet points would do. @[email protected]
To kick start this joint, let me just jump right into it.
Lesson 1: Quality always beats quantity
You may not always have enough cash on hand to buy the best weed, but never let quantity be the deciding factor in your purchasing decisions. It’s always best to have higher quality bud over the quantity because a well-produced bud can get you far more stoned than an ounce of shwag.
Obviously, you also need some quantity in order to make sure it lasts – but always err on the side of quantity over quality.
Lesson 2: Friends in Weed ain’t always Friends indeed
Don’t get me wrong, I have stoner friends that has walked with me for decades. You can meet some of the best people when you’re smoking weed, but always remember – douchebags also smoke weed. Weed isn’t exclusively a “nice person” activity and when we’re happy and high we tend to forget it.
These “cling-on” friends typically appear when you have a lot of weed and become scarce when you don’t. If you know someone like that in your life – maybe it’s time to take a look at the quality of your friends. If that person is you – well…that’s not the person you want to be.
Lesson 3: Jar your Weed!
Some people keep their weed in plastic bags on their desks or something. Get yourself a few mason jars and simply jar your weed and store it in a dark place. That way you preserve the integrity of the weed and we know that weed with integrity is…well…’Tegridy!’
If you buy several jars you can also do some crazy curing tricks if your bud gets too dry like dropping a piece of a banana peel or a lemon peel in the jar with the weed to add more moisture and flavor to your buds.
Lesson 4: Be more discreet
When you’re younger weed almost becomes a badge you wear to showcase your personal identity. The “I just started smoking weed” starter pack includes things like your Sublime or Marley poster, a shirt with a weed leaf, a giant bong, songs with the word “weed in it” and your loud ass telling everybody about it.
We know – weed is amazing! But weed is also a personal thing. Just like you would find it obnoxious if someone who drinks Bud light would only play music featuring beer in the title, watch movies that only relate to getting shitfaced, and wear clothes promoting his consumption habit.
Just don’t be that dude – smoke weed, enjoy it, but there is no need to project your consumption habits to the world. Besides, with fewer eyes, you have fewer opportunities of having your highs interrupted.
Lesson 5: Don’t be stingy!
Sometimes you’ll run out of weed. I believe, that stoners are obliged to “smoke a homie out” if they are in need. This doesn’t mean you are giving your friend weed for free, you “smoke them out” as if it’s a therapy session and they get to smoke and talk with you – dealing with their lack of weed.
You could also gift them a nug, but just think about the unfortunate potential scenario where “you don’t have weed” but have a list of 4-5 homies you can call on to “smoke me out!”
Lesson 6: Be educated about it
Sometimes you’ll be faced with people who are opposed to cannabis. That is fine, however, when their reasoning is based on lies – then it’s your duty to educate them. You may not end up doing so, but knowing at least a baseline of information about cannabis is a good start.
For example knowing something about;
The Endocannabinoid System
Cannabinoids like THC and CBD
Socio Political Talking Points
Revenue Talking Points
Of course – this may seem like a lot to learn, but as you read articles like the ones I write – it will become second nature.
Lesson 7: Your Body is your Guide
Never try to impress anyone. You’re not cooler for smoking weed or any less cool. Your body will always be the one that dictates whether something works for you or not.
When it comes to edibles – your body will lie to you and convince you that you’re dying if you eat way to much. But the good thing is if you followed lesson 6, you’d know you can’t induce a lethal dose on cannabis alone and that a good night’s rest will remedy the situation.
Apart from edibles, always let your body be the guiding factor in your consumption needs. It’s wiser than you may give it credit for.